"For in this we groan..."

I've mentioned that I've been "down in the dumps" lately, and today I've been contemplating just why I am. As I tried to explain and sort out what is going on in my head and heart to the PalmPilot, he quickly diagnosed me -- correctly, I think. I'm groaning. I'm longing for heaven.

I'm tired of the evidence of this fallen world all around me and in me. I'm tired of all the suffering near and far. I'm weary of the emphasis on politics these days, as if that could save anyone. I'm tired of watching and reading the news. I'm even sick of - gasp! - books, as I'm overwhelmed with how many books I want and need to read but can't find the time for. Mostly, though, I'm sick of myself and the sin that is so firmly rooted in my soul.

So, yes, I'm longing for heaven - for home. I deeply love my family, and I'm thankful for the blessings (and they are many!) that I enjoy in this life. Ultimately, though, I don't belong here, and I'm acutely aware of that these days.

Since God has seen fit to put me right where I am at this moment, I cannot succomb to despair. I'm preaching to myself and trying to cling to the promises of God. Hymns have usually been a source of comfort and encouragement to me, so I'm singing this one this afternoon, with special emphasis on verse 2:

Thy Mercy, My God

1. Thy mercy, my God, is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart. and the boast of my tongue;
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affections, and bound my soul fast.

2. Without Thy sweet mercy I could not live here;
Sin would reduce me to utter despair;
But, through Thy free goodness, my spirits revive,
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

3. Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart;
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground,
And weep to the praise of the mercy I’ve found.

4. Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own,
And the covenant love of Thy crucified Son;
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy, and pardon, and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy, and pardon, and righteousness mine.

I'm looking for Scriptures to preach to myself, too, and I've landed in Romans 8:

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

There's more good stuff in 2 Corinthians 4 & 5. So I'm off now to preach to myself and to pray. And while I'd like the gloom to lift, I don't want to forget the fact that my citizenship is in heaven.